Saw one of my best friends today! She told me she had seen M. He is so happy! Told her things are great with his new gf, he has met her kid and never been happier and that its totally over between us……WOW!!
I was ok about it though, i think i’ve had enough of it all now. I can’t change anything! I feel anxious when i hear about him but not gutted!! I think its easier because there is no contact between us at all. He hasn’t asked to see the kids and i haven’t offered!! I still love him thou.
I went on my date last night and i’m really glad i did! I actually had a really nice time! I haven’t heard from my date today but in a way thats a good thing. I need to finish my marriage and let my heart heal. Weird thing is if my date last night had asked to see me again i would of!!
I dunno my head is shot!!! xx
Ok so not contact from M whatsoever!! He’s moved on! So hard to except but i know how his mind works! Once he is done he is done….. and clearly he is OVER ME!!
I love him…. i was led in bed last night (in my rose wine haze) and i looked at his side of the bed and i felt so empty! So sad! Its over! I know that! I know there is no going back but this still isn’t what i want! I try really hard not to think about him with his new gf. I stop myself from thinking about it too much because my heart can’t break any more!
He has cut off all financial support to me which makes my future even more scary! I can literally pay the bills and not a penny more! My life is changing so much! I have always been available for my kids and the reality of my life is now that i am going to have to work literally every hour god sends! I’m not lazy, i’m just tired!
And….. to add to my trauma life in my rose wine haze last night i agreed to a date! I shouldn’t of because i know this guy really likes me! I know what its like to have your feelings hurt and i don’t want to hurt anyone else! I am going on the date because i said i would but i love M. Always have, always will.
I miss you M. I know i have lost you but you will never lose me xx
I feel ok…..not great or happy but ok..ish!
Last text i received from M was from his new gf informing me that they had started the ‘process’ to ensure they had access to the kids! – how odd! I have encouraged M to see the kids from the start! I would never discourage this?? Me thinks M is telling his new gf porkie pies (lies).
Part of me wanted to tell her to fook off and the other part of me just felt sorry for her! If she wants a fight she is wasting her time! She will never win because i will always be me which she won’t!
M hasn’t replied to my mum’s letter but what can he say really??? I love him, i always will but i’m starting to see that we are getting to a point where there is no going back! xx
I have considered you as part of my family for the last 14 years. We have all loved you and i have considered you a son. I have never know a father who loves their child as much as you loved ****y. And in return i can honestly say that none of my grandchildren loved their dads as much as ****y loved you. ****y and J are lovely children. You have been brilliant with J and i thank you for the 14 years stability you gave him.
I understand that you know longer want to be with *. Whilst i find this really sad and i know * would like to reconcile but i accept your choice to move on. J and ****y have been hugely effected by the events over the last year. ****y and J are different children who have gone from happy children to children who express extreme sadness in their eyes! I love them so much it breaks my heart! I myself was personally devastated by the Cornwall incident but as a family we wish you and your girlfriend lots of happiness in the future. We don’t hate you M and if you are as happy as * says then that’s brilliant.
I have visited the solicitors with * and we would very much like to come to an agreement that is fair on you. ****y and J need to be housed. *s solicitor made it very clear that * will keep the house as you have insufficient funds in the house to provide a home for ****y and J should the house be sold.. Whilst i understand you wish to move on with you life (as i am sure * would if she didn’t have two dependent children) the divorce needs to be fair. I would at this point like to say that i encourage you to seek legal advice.
* has spoken to the mortgage company and they have agreed to interest only repayments. * would initially like this to be for a year. * will seek full-time employment and look to have ****y settled into high school. * would then look to be taking over the full repayments whilst you remain on the mortgage. ****y and J need a home. I understand from conversations with * and her solicitor that you are looking to pay * the minimum that you have too. Whilst initially that was disappointing news i realized that i have raised a daughter who will work every hour god sends to ensure the children are ok. * will not sell the house. That will not happen.
I am asking you at this point to start divorce proceedings and to agree to the mortgage being interest only. You need to seek legal advice. * wants to ensure the children are kept in their home and it currently appears you are not supporting this. * does not have £15,000 to buy you out and after fee’s there will not be that kind of equity should the house be sold. * has been advised that she will be able to keep the house as ****y and J need somewhere to live. I am encouraging * at this point to come to an agreement out of court. However, (and this is where you need to seek legal advice) we will proceed to court at a cost of approximately £4000 to ensure that a judge agrees to * paying interest only on the house until ****y is 18/21. We would be looking to claim these costs back from you should be proceed with adultery.
****y needs a home M and so does J.
I will give you 7 days to reply to this letter on the advice of * solicitor. All we are looking for is a home for he children and by you denying * the attempt to pay interest only the courts (and myself) will take the view that you are making your children intentionally homeless.
I will not be paying the mortgage, buying you out or taking over the mortgage as you previously suggested.
I wish you all the best for the future M but i will not allow ****y and J to be homeless and i’m sure once you take a step back you will feel the same. You are not tied to * by keeping the house, you are simply ensuring ****y has a place to live.
Urggggg not such a great day!
Ok so, i went to the solicitor and all i am entitled to is 15% of M’s wages for seven years!! No help with childcare, mortgage…nothing!! Help!! So i decided to ring the mortgage company, they were great! They told me to switch to interest only and my payment will be half, i can afford that! Happy days but…. NOOOOOO M is refusing! He wants the house sold! We have minimal equity so its clearly out of spite!
He called me evil today! Said i am trying to ruin his life because i won’t sell the house! F88K me he only left me three weeks ago! I work part-time! I asked him to give me until christmas but NO!!!
Where can i magic up some serious money from??? Please help!
I will not let him make me bitter or spiteful….i will not!! xx
How on earth did i get to the stage where i am going to the solicitors tomorrow ??? My mum booked the appointment! She says i need to know where i stand!
Head says- good plan
Heart says- i love him, i don’t want this!
I want our life back- he wants a new life with someone else!
Urgggggggggg i hate myself for not hating him! If i was watching one of my friends being treated like this i would be livid!
To the outside world i am so strong- in my heart i am as weak as a kitten!!