6 thoughts on “Anyone else out there who’s husband has left them??”

  1. My story is a bit different than yours, as I asked him to leave when I found out he had had multiple affairs over the course of our 12.5 year marriage. I think you may need time apart. It seems like so much of your identity may be wrapped up in him, and you need to find yourself outside of that. I may be completely off base, but I was heart broken too, and I am learning who I am outside of who he wanted me to be. Good luck!

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  2. HI,
    thanks for you thoughts! I think its more my history than my identity that is wrapped round him. I have two kids and its not only five days since he dumped me but five days since they have seen their Dad! For my 10 year old that’s especially hard.

    I have a good job (professional) but i only work part-time so i will not be able to afford the mortgage on my house and so on! I just don’t want this change! I still love him and want to be with him! Its that simple xx

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  3. My husband of 22 years lost his freaking mind, joined a biker club, developed a drug addiction, and then cheated on me with one of our daughter’s friends. They ended up living together for 8 long months. He’s back with me now, though mainly as room mates. It was horrible. I really feel for you.

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      • I’m well on my way down the path of recovery. This whole nightmare started in October 2011, when he picked up a drug again after being clean 20+ years. The biker thing was a bit of a surprise, but he was handling that part fine. There’s just something spectacularly unnerving about just how horrible he can be when he’s high. He said and did things that will haunt me until the day I die. He is presently trying to put those mistakes behind him, but I still get hung up on the fact that he was telling this other woman everything he had always told me all these years together…You know, the romantic stuff like me being his best friend, his soul mate, etc. I guess he told Stupid (what I call his affair partner in my head) that he couldn’t leave me until the kids were grown and away from home, and that he really had never loved me all these years. What a prick.

        When it all first happened, even I wasn’t prepared for just how much he was throwing away. In a really painful moment, I tanked a million dollar lawsuit just so he and Stupid wouldn’t get a cent of it. When he got me shunned by the motorcycle club, I hit right back and got him kicked out of it too within the same week. The day after I left our home, he moved back in and brought Stupid with him, and proceeded to cut me off from getting else out of the house, deciding that anything I didn’t take with me that first day was abandoned. He gave Stupid some of my jewelry, clothes, and some of the knick knacks I had owned for years before I ever met him. I thought my head was going to fall off of my neck, I was so enraged.

        I wrote about this whole painful lesson on my blog, which I had set up before he went insane. The main blog, Everyone Has A Story, with a summarized version of the events is here:

        http://everyonehasastory.me/motorcycles-meth-a-midlife-crisis/

        I set up a second blog to be completely dedicated to that tragic event. I didn’t want my life and my blog defined by the actions of a careless man, but I had collected this fantastic library of blogs where people were going through their own hell, a myriad of hilarious and/or moving pictures about drugs, infidelity, and bikers, and a kick ass playlist for when things were feeling their worst. It just seemed wrong to let all that go quietly away with time. I know reading and writing to other people who knew first hand the pain I was experiencing really, really helped me through.

        The second site, which is specifically dedicated to this whole mess, is called Loving With A Limp, and it is here:

        http://lovingwithalimp.weebly.com/

        As you can see, I get so angry just talking about it, I write a tome. Sorry!! I doubt that my heart will ever not ache about all that he and I have lost. You can’t unring the bell, no matter how much you love each other. Some things are forever; unfortunately, in my case, it wasn’t our love.

        Thanks for letting me vent. I didn’t mean to hijack your comment section!

        == Bird

  4. Hi, you are welcome to vent here anytime!! More than welcome!

    I love your phrase ‘you can’t un ring a bell’ so sad but so true!! You are one strong lady!!

    Men can be such pricks!! I’m sure woman can’t be bitches to though and ‘Stupid’ sounds like a first class bitch! Was she on drugs too?

    Did you/ have you stopped loving him? Please tell me life is less painful for you now?

    I am going to read you other blogs, thank you for sharing them!! xxxxxx

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